Memories Stronger Than Gods
by Sir Butt
Summary: After a chain of incidents that led to Spain losing his memory, Romano tried everything to get his Spain back, but the challenge proved to be too difficult to overcome. He might just forget about his first love just as Spain forgot his.


Title : Memories Stronger Than Gods

Chapter 1 : False Hope

"A perfect day!"

Wrong. It wasn't perfect at all. The sun began to hide under the thin line of the horizon. The night painted the sky dark blue, finally revealing the constellations above.

One spaniard smiled sheepishly to himself while holding a bouquet of roses, red as they are, enough to make anyone smile, hopefully…

"Ehehe… Romano would be super angry, wouldn't he…?" said the spaniard to himself. He promised a date with a young italian man that afternoon, but the day had already set to night.

11:39 to be exact.

10 hours late, still holding on to his broken promise, he walked ever so slowly towards the place they promised to meet - The Colosseum. The spaniard hummed along his footsteps as his boots walked in rhythm on the wet puddles. The cold, damp air made his nose slightly red, but he didn't mind. It must've rained hard just now. The smell of rain that lingered in the air yet to disappear.

"Maybe it rained a lot hours ago. I woke up late this afternoon, missed my flight and now I have water in my boots… Hahaha… It can't get any worse than this now, can it?"

10 hours late. Yet, he walked slow. He didn't expect to see anyone at that late hour. He knew very well, too well, that promised italian will not wait for him even if he is only 5 minutes late. Let alone 10 hours.

Little droplets of rain started to fall again. The thin gray clouds fooled the spaniard, making him think that rain won't fall heavier than what was already pouring. Even with that, he didn't fell like running or finding any shelter. His clothes completely soaked by the time he reached the gates of the Colosseum.

Seeing that the gate was locked, he broke in.

Light mist covered the place due to the rain earlier. When he tilted his head slightly up to see the beautiful sky filled with thin gray clouds, he saw someone sitting on the highest peak of the Colosseum. The stranger held an opened umbrella, silently watching the sky.

Almost immediately, he noticed the familiar curl.

_Romano waited for me even though it's this late?_

The spaniard can't shake that thought out of his mind. He forcefully blinked back his tears and ran up the stairs as fast as he could, reaching out to grab the sitting young man, only to have his heart sink in disappointment.

"Ve~ Spain? I thought you'll never come! I waited and waited, but nobody came."

Indeed a disappointment.

"Oh… Italy…" croaked Spain. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

That was the only thing he could think of at that moment. Italy shot him a sudden sour look. He even looked away to avoid eye-contact with Spain.

"Italy… What's wrong…?"

"You should ask that question to my brother… He sat here for who-knows how long…"

"Here…?" Spain felt a jolt of regret running up his spine, tearing his insides apart.

"His boss called me. Romano didn't come home even though it's 9 pm. And it was raining heavily since lunch time too. I flew here from Venezia to find him sitting here under the rain."

The spaniard tried not to tremble as he asked Italy a question he dared not to listen for the answer. "What happened to Romano…?"

"He was shivering and alone when I found him… _Fratello_ must've waited out here for hours and hours without moving. I wanted to take him back home, but he insisted on staying until…," Italy breathed in and out. Least he could do was to calm down so he won't get anything wrong. "Until you come and pick him up…"

Romano waited for him even though it rained that heavily. Knowing that wasn't a relief. It was a slap that made his heart drowning in regret. He gulped before croaking another question.

Useless and stupid. Were questions the only thing he was capable of voicing out? "Er… Where is he now…?"

"I forced him to go back home while I stay here and wait for you, which he did, actually, considering that he wasn't in much of a state to fight back. I doubt anyone sit in cold rain for hours without getting sick…" Italy snapped back to his usual cheerful self and gave Spain an innocent smile, successfully making the spaniard smile back. "Ve~ Brother seemed so pissed. But he'll be back to normal by tomorrow! Check him out only then will you, Spain?"

He didn't need Italy to say that to him. Romano was sick in bed and he ruined their date. Of course he needed to visit him. But looking at that smiling italian didn't gave him the heart to yell at him. "So, Italy? What are you going to do now?"

"I need to take a flight to Japan. The last plane would probably arrive around 1 in the morning. So I must go now or else I have to wait for the 8 am flight. I promised Germany that we would spend the rest of our tomorrow together at Japan's place!"

"I… I see… Goodbye then…"

Italy made his way down the Colosseum by skipping down the seats for the spectators. As he stood before the exit, he turned around to yell an obvious request for Spain. "Take care of my big brother, ok?!"

The italian left before Spain could give him a reply.

Spain just stood there, clueless of what to do. He froze there for a few minutes before ermembering something Italy just told him. He got out of the Colloseum as fast as he can, ignoring the noises he made when he knocked something over. He ran like a madman towards a place he knew very well. Everything around seemed so fuzzy and blurry, but one thought sang clear in his mind.

_I must see Romano! Now!_

After a series of running, he finally reached he doorstep of the italian. He bust himself in, breaking the door in the process. He ran up the stairs and rushed into the master room. Relief filled his heart when the prince he searched for laid safe and sound in bed.

"Romano… Your brother told me you're sick… I just want to know if you're alright…"

Romano's eyes shot open immediately after hearing Spain's voice. The small whisper was enough to wake him from slumber. The sick italian's eyes were red, skin paler than usual. Spain approached him slowly, only to be yelled at.

"_Pezzo di merda! Che cazzo_! You fucking lied to me, Spain! You lied to me!"

"Roma… I'm so sorry about-"

"You're so clueless, you know that?! Can't you read the situation?! YOU left me out there waiting pointlessly, yet you have the guts to show your face here and now?! Dammit! And I'm forced to accept help from my little brother too! Che!" His eyes teared up slightly.

"Oh, Roma… Is there any way I can make it up to you? I can take you to dinner or something? Just the two of us! Ah! Lets make it afternoon since it probably won't rain!"

Even in his weakened state, Romano furiously jumped out of his bed and delivered a painful slap onto Spain's cheek. For a fraction of a second, their skins meet, Spain could feel how cold Romano's hand was, yet they burned like hellfire.

"Fuck you and your fucking problems! I don't want to hear another thing from you! For the first time, I put my hopes up for you! And what did you do?! You fucking left me! You fucking left me out there alone! I…! I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, BASTARD!"

It was normal for Romano to yell at Spain in the face, a thousand times maybe. But never once did any of the arguments involve tears from both sides. Spain couldn't stop the tears in his eyes and the italian was in no better shape. Battling illness and a broken heart was not a battle he can win.

Spain didn't cry because of the yelling. He did so because he just realized that he disappointed Romano countless of times. And that night, he crossed the line. He had no idea that their promised date meant so much for him.

"I'm sorry, Roma… I'm so, so sorry…" was the only thing Spain could say.

"GET OUT OF HERE! DON'T EVER COME BACK, EVER, YOU JERK! GO TO HELL!"

Spain's whole body felt numb. His eyes empty as he remembered exactly how many times he disappointed Romano in the past and how many times Romano cried because of him. He just realized that he had repeated his same mistake towards Romano. He just realized how Romano truly felt about his actions. He just realized, his love for Romano only gave him nothing but torture. He smiled sheepishly while scratching the back of his head.

"I… understand now… Haha… I didn't realize that I'm such a jerk to you, Romano… Took me long enough to realize too… Hahaha… Man… That hit me real hard… Ahaha… Ahaha… I'm so sorry, Romano… I really am…"

Something about Spain's voice frightened Romano. He began to feel a bit bad for yelling. He should at least listen to his reasons, no matter how unreasonable they were.

Spain continued, "Ahaha… You're right… I should leave now, right…? You need rest… So I'll leave you alone'''"

"Wait! S-Spain! I didn't mean what I said…! I guess I got angry and -"

"That's quite ok, Roma! I'll go stay with France! He said he'll be staying here for a few days for business! So… See you when you get well, Romano!" It was obvious. Spain was desperate to leave the place. In just the matter of seconds, Romano was all alone in that hollow mansion.

"That jerk… I really didn't mean anything that I said… _Cazzo… Cazzo, bastardi… Cazzo_…!" With Romano's body at limit, his legs no longer able to maintain his stability, giving in to gravity.

It was only a fall to the floor, but what he felt at that moment was intense. His vision blurred, breathing deeper and faster. He felt odd. He knew he was weak as a country, but not to that extent, right? He laid there for a few minutes, struggling to keep his breathing steady. The room seemed bigger somehow, as if his life slowly disappear from the face of existence.

_I have a bad feeling about this…_

Lightning struct outside. Thunder made things worse. That very moment, Romano began coughing endlessly. He felt heavy, haunted, and not because of the fever.

_It was something else._

He dragged his body slowly towards his phone on the bed and speed-dialed the first number in his list. Sadly, he didn't have any energy left in his weak, trembling body. The phone was no longer in his grip.

"_Ciao_…?" A cheerful yet nervous voice sounded from the device.

_Something is wrong…_

All his senses to the world faded. He couldn't feel anything, couldn't hear anything. Before he knew it, he lost conscience.

.

The spaniard felt awkward as he made his way out of Romano's mansion. A small part of his heart told him to turn around and run back upstairs. He dared not to do so, standing frozen outside the doorstep of the mansion.

Out of the shadow, a brown cat with blue and white ribbon around it's neck slowly came out. It tilted it's head towards Spain and made a sleepy-like meow sound.

"I didn't remember Roma keeping a cat before." Spain crouched slightly down to touch the cat.

It must've been a neighbour's pet that found its way to Romano's garden. The cat's fur was a mess, probably covered with dirt. One long fur that curled apart two ways stood out from the rest. Somehow, the cat reminded him of someone. He didn't let the matter linger in his mind for long.

"Mr Cat… Do you think I'm a jerk…? I made someone special to me cry today…"

The brown mysterious creature gazed it's emerald eyes towards the spaniard, silent and focused as if it was waiting for an explanation. Spain sighed and looked up the crying sky, praying.

"If there really is someone up there who is listening… All I ask is for a chance to deliver my true feelings to Romano…"

The cat meowed once before disappearing into the shadows of a nearby bush. Spain admired the beauty of the italian's garden, too beautiful to ignore, emphasized by the dewdrops hanging onto the tips of the leaves, falling down to the wet soil in seconds flat.

Just like his hope.

A hope for change… A false hope that will lose it's grip in the end.

Unable to climb back up and claim a place in an admirer's eyes.

The rain slowly gained power as it released all its bottled up tears in one go. People say that the rain will be your friend when you're sad. But it was different for Spain.

It was a song of mockery.

He got up to his feet, his inner voice shouted for him to run forward. Depression set in. The cat must've left him because he was a total jerk. The rain mocked him of his loss. In the end, he did the only thing that the situation allowed him to do - sprint forward, never look back.

Spain wasn't running towards the hotel France was staying at. He simply ran forward. Anywhere doesn't matter as long as he can get further away from the young italian whom he hurt. Eyes closed the entire time, hoping to forget at least a speck of his regret.

The sound of screeching tyres on the wet road made Spain stop on the sidewalk, just inches away from the actual path of fast moving vehicles. It seemed that a truck lost control on the slippery road and was unable to brake. He was sure that if he didn't stop half a second ago, he might end up somewhere he shouldn't. Of course, he felt grateful for having his life saved from a disaster, but that didn't save his aching heart.

Just them, a single lightning struct the sky. The thunder was loud enough for everyone to feel the vibrations from the ground.

_Something is wrong… Something is…_

The world stopped spinning as he felt a strong push from the back. forcing his body to cross the boundary of the sidewalk. Far too late to get away, the truck sent his body rolling quite a distance away. He can't move any parts of his body no matter how hard he tried.

Fresh blood and rose petals everywhere. Scattered roses that was supposed to be the present for Romano became the dramatic icing for the night as people gathered around to watch.

Before losing sight of everything, a figure with a brown jacket over his shoulders smiled coldly at the dying spaniard. Was he the one that made him limping on the ground?

It pained too much to even gasp for air.

People around reached out to help him. Someone grabbed his wrist to search for his pulse. After that, he didn't know what happened as his conscience died out.

_Please… All I want is a single chance to..._

* * *

><p><strong>AN : So some of you might recognize this story. For personal reasons, I deleted this fic from the internet 2 years ago. I was shocked when someone still remembered the fic even after I erased all trace of this story. The feeling I got was... odd. **

**I moved on from the fandom and discontinued the story, but reading what that person wrote made me remember the feelings I had towards Hetalia all those years ago. Deep down, I know that I can never truly let go of something I once love.**

**My grammar is as terrible as before. For that, I am very sorry. OTL  
>Please point out anything that needs fixing, maybe explain it a little so that I can learn from it. If it's too much trouble, it's okay. I can't force people to be a grammar-nazi. xD<strong>

**I just hope that you guys enjoy this. **


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